Terputus Amalan Kecuali Tiga Perkara
Asmk wbt.,
I got this in my in-box. No, I don't normally need to listen to any ustazah [when we have so many ustazs to choose from] for guidance. But I happen to overhear her in a forum here where fully agree with her that it can be more expensive to die at the kampong than to die in KL/Sgor!
My father-in-law passed away about 2 years ago in Langgar, Kedah, a supposedly pious area with a few religious pondoks surrounding our kg semi-wooden bungalow, amongst other bungalows. What irked me during our preparations for burial was that my chief brother-in-law's pre-occupation with trying to get to the bank 12 km away in the city on time and then queueing up for the money in various denominations and then going to the stationery store to get envelopes by the dozens and on getting home getting the nieces and nephews to pack the notes in them. "Whatever for?" I asked. I was quite shocked with the reply - hadiah to those who would be at the solat jenazah following the asar prayers! I never knew that we had to pay people to pray and I was surprised to later observe that they would queue in line at the exit door of the masjid where many were youths and amongst the adults many we did not know or were not regulars of the masjid. They heard the news of a death and they have come to do 'duty' for the small gift expected. It was the culture there. At the Section 16 PJ masjid where my mother, and later my father were prayed for there was no such thing. The masjid had the usual zohor crowd and the UIA/Kolej Islam undergrads were just waiting - to pray and offer whatever services they can - nak dapat pahala! They even wanted us to get transport for them to get to the grave! After prayers we found the jenazah disappearing fast! They had carried the body to the waiting hearse - not waiting to be invited. At the kampong it was the opposite scene - we had to get help to lift the body to the van whilst others were busy distributing the envelopes with MYR5- inside. It made me quite mad to think that you had to be paid to come and pray - and for my family to entertain, subscribe to the ways and habits there.
For the next 3 nights friends and strangers came to the house after isya', expecting the usual doa/Yasin reading and we had to prepare the expected makan, this being the 'culture' if I may use this word for want of anything better to describe. So if you look at the money and work that a kampong family has to spend it is quite a big sum when we tally it up at the end of the 'events'. My father-in-law breathed his last at home, so there was no cost incurred from hospital to home. There was the mandi jenazah team, and the masjid officials team to do their stuff. We had to arrange for a hearse/van to get the body to the masjid, then the grave, both within a 1 km radius. There was the kain kafan and paraphernalia connected with the cleansing and the dressing, So when you add up all the costs associated we had to use our money from our savings!
Here we help families manage death if requested or our voluntary service accepted. The cost comes to less than MYR800- for transport to Section 21 grounds, mandi [kat masjid] and kafan etc. The bulk of the money goes to MBSA which provides the van/driver and sets up the kubur. We have volunteers to mandi and kafankan, and help with the actual burial. The actual burial rites are very brief - doa' bila masukan mayat and a short tazkirah for those present, solat jenazah having covered for the 'manadtory' doa2. There is no talqin per se, no flowers, petals and leave, and scented water over the grave done for whatever for. So that's it!
For the bereaved family we help clear, clean up the house. We get volunteers to buy or prepare for only for the immediate family. There is no broadcast or notice at the masjid with invitations, and should they have well-wishers and sympathizers dropping in after isya' , in expectation of any special 'majlis' we entertain them with a short tazkirah from a volunteer ustaz, and some small bites donated by friends, associates. We keep the bereaved family, whether able or less able, free from any unnecessary financial and physical burden for the period where they need to get back their emotional strength,and to mourn the way that it should be done, for their loss and loved one.
Total cost - just what is mandatory to the authorities, and gifts in cash or kind to outsiders/strangers who have been directly involved.
Thanks for sharing my experience and for watching this video.
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